In My Mind?

You were in my dream last night…

You wanted me back, and I said yes.

But I only did so after I screamed at you

  - Expressed how much you truly hurt me

It was in dark lighting

I hate when my dreams are like that

It makes them more like a nightmare

  - More surreal than anything

Ever since I woke up this morning after this dream

I’ve been thinking about you and questioning myself

Would I take you back?

  - Would I let you hurt me again?

Sadly, there is a chance that I would

But I know myself better

I know I have more control than that

  - I would probably just tell you “no”

I hate that there is no more friendship

Even though you said we could stay that way

I should have been the one to end it

  - But I was stupid and tried to keep what it was

It’s impossible to love someone

Then to go back to what it was before that love

It’s impossible to just erase everything as well

  - To just go on like nothing happened

I still wonder when it will stop bothering me

I notice other guys now, that’s a start

But there’s still something there that bothers me

  - I don’t know what it is

This is usually where I ask you for advice

But it’s obvious that I can’t

It’s obvious that not only was my heart broken

  - But so was my friendship

I had a best friend to go to at the time

Now that’s gone and I’m confused

But I have others who help me

  - I thank God for them every day

I don’t think I would take you back

Because then every day would be a reminder

Of how much it hurt the first time

  - And how I wouldn’t ever want to be there again

Now there are songs I can listen to again

Things I can think about without wanting to break down

I can see the lights in life with the love of them I once had

  - I can feel true happiness again

So I do ask that you stay where you are

Away from me because it hurt that much

I do not hate you I just don’t think I could handle you again

  - I couldn’t handle even your help

That is how much you hurt me

And I want to forget it and move on

So this is me erasing the dream I had last night

  - Erasing the pain you set in my heart

It’s all gone now

I may still feel some sparks of the past

But they won’t bother me

  - I’m a new person, and I love it

I can’t believe it’s almost here

The day when I finally leave

This past year has gone so fast

I don’t know whether to be happy or to grieve

I’ll miss the people I have met so far

All from different places

I know I’ll never forget memories made

Nor the many faces

I miss my home sweet home, yes

But this has become comforting too

I can’t believe I have to leave

It’s as if it’s all I ever knew

Going from one home to another

I leave behind all I’ve made

I’ll gladly go back to my home sweet home

But I will also miss my first year

  - My happiest times

  - My college days